Throughout our adoption journey, we knew that we would have to have some sort of contact with Pudding’s family.
However, we knew we would never meet Puddings birth mother but maybe his extended family.
We do have twice-yearly letterbox contact which includes photos with his birth mother but this is it. We will never meet her. Pudding can request information on her when he’s 18 and can decide whether or not he wants to meet her in the flesh.
Brother From Another Father
Pudding has a half-brother. They were both taken into care at the same time, spending the first 6 months with the same foster carer.
After a sibling assessment, it was decided that his half-brother would go and live with his paternal grandparents and Pudding was to be adopted. They did see each other once a week until Pudding came to live with us.
We knew early on in the process of adopting Pudding that there would be face to face contact with his brother and grandparents. We were fine with this process as its best for our son.
We have always been open to Pudding having some sort of contact with his birth family. It will help him understand later on in life where he came from and not to be ashamed of his past.
The Day Arrives
Both Darran and I had a few words before the day came; ‘what will they be like’, ‘do you think pudding remembers them/him’ but I think we both were nervous/apprehensive about the meeting.
Thankfully, Ann, our social worker would be there to supports us and make us feel at ease. Anyone that has read our blog knows that Ann has been there for us both throughout this process and is absolutely amazing!
We drop Pudding off at Nannie & popsies for 9am and head off to the meeting point which was about 40 minutes from us. The journey was OK, we spoke a bit, killed a pigeon (I’m still feeling upset about the situation) and had a good old sign to the Dream Girls soundtrack.
We arrive at the venue, park up then head to the meeting room. We had to sign in (not putting down our last names). We were told that the meeting room is literally behind us. Both grandparents had already signed in, also Ann was there too. My stomach sunk.
We turned around, I let Darran go in first lol. We enter the room where we were greeted by these two lovely, down-to-earth people who gave us a lovely smile and a hand-shake.
We all sit down and the grandmother starts talking about themselves, what they do, about their family and information about Puddings half-brother’s dad. She then goes on to give us soooooo much more information about pudding. Some stuff we hadn’t even heard before. They both were there for the first 2 years of our son’s life on and off and supported his mum emotionally and financially. It was lovely to hear.
She then goes and gives us a photo book of Puddings early years, including a scan photo and photos of him as a baby. Darran opened the book and closed it straight away, he started to cry. I needed to see these photos so started to go through this. It was lovely to see our son’s scan (something I thought I would never ever see). There were also some photos of pudding and his brother.
Being in there chatting about puddings life before he joined our life. Was just amazing. Being able to fill in the gaps from the year before he went into care really has helped us with some unanswered questions. 2 hours later discussing the contact with his brother moving forward. we feel we have left that room with a hope that pudding will have a great connection with his half brother.
Been following you for a few months on instagram but tonight is the first chance I have had to sit and read your blog, never been more grateful of a sleeping toddler and a fiance at the pub! I have loved every bit of it, cried, smiled and sat here thinking pudding is so fortunate to of been adopted by 2 people who are clearly so loving and want the best life for him! The world needs more people like you two!