First Birthday as a Dad

Unlike Darran who is a massive birthday fan and wants to go all out, I’m not really a fan. I mean, you get one every year. what’s the big fuss all about?

This year was slightly different though. This year I celebrated my first birthday as a DAD!


The day started like most days. Both Darran and Pudding were still snoring their heads off meaning I have to get ready for work like a mouse. Even though Darran says I don’t, I bloody do. It’s hard work for a heavy-footed fucker like myself to get ready quietly.

I never take the day off on my birthday but off I trot, on my mission to Wimbledon. Every so often I have to go to my companies head office which is based in Wimbledon.

I hate travelling into London on a normal day but having to get on the underground and travel across the WHOLE of London on my birthday, having to go on the underground in the hight of summer is an absolute PISS-TAKE. But I do it anyway

Heading home

So after doing 8 odd hours at work, I make the trek home again.

Overground from Reynes park to Waterloo is okay. Hot but okay.

I get to Waterloo and head down to the Jubilee Line and it’s HOT and ramo! I queue up, yep people are actually queuing up to get on the tube. What sort of fuckary is this? I can already feel myself starting to get wound up!

Tube pulls in and out of the corner of my eye, I see this little snake walking up trying to push in. Anyone who knows me, knows I don’t like pusher inners. Have some train decorum fuckwit.

So I start edging myself forward, position myself so he can’t push in front. I then sqweeeeeez myself onto the tube only for the non-decorum tube fuckwit to push himself into the tube.

NAH! I give him the dirtiest look possible, he just looks at me. The tube doors close and I could barely breathe.

I thought to myself ‘fuck this’ and got off. I then said ‘Could you not wait for 2 minutes instead of pushing your fucking self in’? To which he replied ‘I was here first’. What? Are you fucking 3? I replied.

I get on the tube, sweating like a fat kid on a treadmill, taking in deep breaths and counting to 10. anyway, I’m digressing


I get a message from Darran asking what time I’ll be home so he can start dinner. ‘I neeeeed a shower before I do anything’ I replied.

I get indoors, give my little man the biggest kiss, for him to say ‘Happy Birthday Dad, I love you’ Heart just melted!!!

Jumped in the shower and when I came out I was greeted with a birthday card and Charlie the Caterpillar cake.

Pudding – ‘Ice cream, Ice cream’ pointing to the cake. I cut him off a little bit while we’re eating dinner. More cuddles, kisses and ‘Happy Birthday Dad, I love you’ before he went off to bed.

Not a mad, drinking, getting in at silly o’clock birthday but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Absolute perfect birthday with Darran (my soon to-be-hubby) and our little man.

4 Responses

      1. Happy Birthday … First as a Daddy ❤️. Nothing beats a card with all the scribble in from a little one xxx

  1. This made me both laugh out loud and melt my heart, such a heartwarming post 👨‍👨‍
    Happy belated birthday you heavy-footed fucker 😁

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.