As we sit here 4 days in, officially parents we’ve just stuffed a Domino’s down our throat and Pudding is fast asleep, let’s tell you how the last 4 weeks have been.
Let’s take you back to the 11th January when we got to see Pudding for the very first time. We walked up the stairs at the Foster Carers (FC) home to this little human laughing. As we walk in, he looks straight at Darran and I and then at the laptop. He was watching us on the DVD we made him and couldn’t work out how we can be in his home and on the screen at the same time. We had 3 more playdates on 13th Jan, 16th Jan, 19th Jan and 22nd Jan.
To read more on the first time we meet Pudding click here
The transition week started on 25th January and we had to be at the FC house for 8.30. The first 2 visits were for us to spend time with Pudding playing with him and for him to get to know us.
The 3rd visit was for us to take him out locally with his FC. We decided to go get his hair cut. We were told by his FC that the last time he got his hair cut didn’t go so well – GREAT! Darran was the brave one, sat in the chair and got Pudding to sit on his lap.
He was an angel. He sat on Darran’s lap, watched some shit on YouTube and let the barber cut his hair.
The next 2 days was us two arriving and spending some time indoors playing with pudding. Then a day off the following
It was time for the FC to bring Pudding to our house. She arrived at 10 am and we were both waiting. He was a bit apprehensive at first and wouldn’t leave this FC. We think he was trying to figure out why we were here and so were some of his toys. After about 10 minutes he decided it was time to say ‘Helloooo’ and started playing with some toys.
We took him upstairs to show him his room and he loved it. We spent about half an hour playing in his room. Darran took him around to show him the rest of the upstairs but he was only interested in his room. Why wouldn’t he, it is amazing.
They stayed until 1pm before they left.
The following day, Pudding arrived for about 10.30. He normally has his nap around 11am so we decided to put him down in his bed. Nope, wasn’t having that. He was straight-up running around and playing with his toys.
We decided to put up the travel cot, in he went and he went off with no issues.
The FC then left, leaving Darran and I to fend for ourselves. Pudding normally goes down for a few hours so we just sit downstairs doing nothing.
When he wakes up we spend some time playing and giving him his lunch. We took him back for about 4pm.
The FC brings Pudding to our house for about 10.30. Today is the day the FC has to stay ‘goodbye’. This is for Pudding to realise people can say ‘goodbye’ and return. Everyone in Puddings life up until now has left. His birth mum, birth maternal grandparents and his half-brother and soon his FC and her family.
We weren’t sure how he would react and his FC said to expect some tears which is good. As she was leaving he was stood there waving her off. As soon as she had left we continued playing with not a care in the world. THIS IS GOOD (for us but not so much for the FC).
Pudding has been teething for a few weeks so the FC hasn’t been able to brush his teeth and his gums were inflamed. We had the pleasure of taking him to his first-ever visit to the dentist. This was fun. NOT!
When Pudding doesn’t want to do something he lets everyone (like any 2 years old) know. Darran was the brave one (again) and sat in the chair with him. Pudding made sure that the dentist wasn’t getting anywhere near his mouth.
“Hold him down and open his mouth”Said the dentist
Screaming, crying, kicking and within seconds it was done had he was back to his laughing, cheeky self.
Today we took him up London with his FC for a blood test. Today was the day we would test Pudding to the limit and he tested us – lol
We had to get his blood test for his Genetic Testing. This isn’t normal practice for kids in care but they felt it would be good for us to know everything about him. We got to his FC house for about 9am and set off.
We decided to take him on the train because driving in London is a massive ‘FUCK NO”! Once at the tube station, pay for our ticket and head to the platform. Trains are only going to Stratford, we’ll need to get a bus to Liverpool Street. The fear on ours and the FC face said it all!
“This train is now stopping at all stops”Said the tube driving
Thank fuck for that! We had to change to another tube line but all was going so well until Pudding started going bright red. Que the crying and hysterics. Time to get him out which Darran did and comforted him.
We get to the hospital and had to wait for about 10 minutes. Our number was called and we all piled into the waiting room.
it was like the end of the world
We were called into the little cubical where the phlebotomist was waiting. Again, Darran was was the brave one and decided to sit in the chair with Pudding in his lap. Straight away, Pudding held his arms out wanting to go to the FC (he thought she would take him away from the situation) He was wrong. She then sat in the chair and he starts to SCREAM.
“Who’s the strongest one?”said the phlebotomist
By this point, I decide to leave and go sit in the waiting room, it was all getting a bit crowded and stressful for Pudding.
Darran is back in the chair with Pudding. His legs between Darran’s, one arm tucked away and his head held against Darran’s chest. The phlebotomist tried in his left arm, then right arm and finally got a vain in his hand. All this was going off with Darran, the FC, the phlebotomist and 3 of her colleagues trying to help. All I could do is sit and listen to his not so little screams and strains in the waiting room.
Luckily for us, he didn’t hate us and was cuddling Darran when they left the
As Pudding has moderate bilateral hearing loss, we had to take him to the Audiologist for a check-up and some new moulds. I braved it this time and sat in the chair with him. As the Audiologist was checking his ears I thought ‘Well, this is a piece of cake’. How wrong I was, Pudding was bored and wanted to play. ‘DARRAN, why don’t you take him and see what he’s like with you’ I said.
Darran steps up and was so much better than me.
The Audiologist confirmed everything was fine, new moulds taken which should be with us in a couple of days.
Moving in day
We arrive at the FC house for about 9.30. We had stopped off to get a big bunch of the FC favourite flowers and some Cava. As soon as she opened the door, Darran gave her the flowers – TEARS. This was going to be hard.
The FC had her social worker and daughter there for some support. “Helloooo’ was how Pudding greeted us. We sat down and had a little chat while Pudding was playing. What felt like hours was 30 minutes.
“Okay, is that everything”said the FC social worker
It was time. The FC took Pudding downstairs and put on his coat. Darran and I both hugged the FC and thanked her for all she has done to get Pudding to where he is today. He is a completely different little boy to when he came into care.
The first 3 days
The first 3 days have been an amazing whirlwind of everything. He’s just been so comfortable with us and in his new home. Exploring his bedroom, getting to know his new cat (she hates it so far) and meeting his nanny and pops and his Auntie Lizzie.
His social carer came round on Thursday and she said she wasn’t expecting it to be so smooth.
Pudding hasn’t put on a show for us, he realises that we’re his daddies and has shown us all of his sides. His playful funny side, his moody side, his ‘don’t change my fucking nappy’ side.
Made me cry so much! What a lucky little boy and what a smashing pair of Daddies!
So excited to follow your journey! Dreams! You can tell he has soo much love already! What an incredible little family you are! Thanks for sharing xxxx
Thank You, Gem x
I keep saying this but I don’t really know what else to say other than I am so ridiculously happy for you both and Pudding. He is the luckiest boy in the world and I wish you all the happiness!!
Thank you, Rebecca x
Im so happy ur wee pudding fpund a happy ending. He will be the most loved little man in the world. The 3 of you are truly blessed to have found each other.
Thank you, Angela x
You two gorgeous men are absolutely smashing this parenting. You were born to do it and I’m so happy you’ve found your happy ever after cx
Thank you, Megan x
Omg I’m in tears reading this so happy for u both xx
Are you able to sahre details on your dvd that you made for pudding? Weve done a book, but wanted a dvd also. However, stuck for novel ideas.
Thanks, and best of luck either way with Pudding.