Hello, welcome to Two Poofs! Tell us a little bit about your blended family.
Well hello. Its Richard, Ross and our cub Olly here. We have been together for 6 years and married for 3.
We live in the middle of nowhere surround by farms and fields and we are as happy as pigs in you know the rest.
What area of the UK do you live in?
Right up north in the beautiful lake district, the weather is crap but the people and food are beautiful.
Ross moved up north to be with me 6 months after we got together.
Did you always know you wanted children? Who instigated the conversation?
I have always known my whole adult life I was going to be a dad, I have always loved kids and knew at 16 I was going to have a family.
Ross being a couple of years older never thought it would happen, but hey we met, talked for hours and when you meet your soul mate and have life goals then anything is possible.
Was your agency a local authority or voluntary agency?
When we started talking families and things were getting serious, we didn’t even think about it. We went to our local authority for first. I love supporting local business and trade and feel that I want to help a child locally.
Did you read any adoption stories before you started? If so where? (eg blog, Instagram, books)
No! We went to an information evening at a fire station in Carlisle. We were the only ones who turned up. So we had 2 hours with 2 social workers talking 1-2-1 and drinking really bad coffee.
But we got in the car and turned to each other and said let’s do this.
What was your biggest worry before you started the process?
I didn’t want and still don’t want our child/children getting judged or called out because of us and our lifestyle. We touch wood *knock knock.
Have never ever had any slur or remakes and we have had our cub 2 years.
How long did the process take from the point of deciding you wanted to adapt to your child(ren) coming home?
2 years practically to the date. We took 2 months off in middle to get married and have an outrageous adult-only honeymoon in the Caribbean before we got a child lol.
What age and number of children were you approved for? Were you matched to a different age or number of children from this?
After the first panel we sat with our new social worker and said ‘oh, we’d love a baby’. And she said if you want a baby you put a baby down
So we wrote 0-3 and we got our boy. He was 10 months old when he moved in. So i would say to anybody wanting to do this. Is say what you want.
As my grandma said. ‘if you don’t ask you don’t get’. And she was a very wise woman.
How did the matching process work? Did you look at lots of profiles?
We passed panel in the April and matched with him in the August….. Oh Oh but that silence In-between is deafening
What has been the most difficult part about the process?
Apart from waiting to match it has to be the second day on the 3-day course you have to go on.
Day 2 is the not so nice stories, it’s the worst-case scenario. Real parents came in telling us their stories of troubles. Honestly, we got in the car and were like F@#k that was tough
Have you needed to access additional help and support from your agency since your child came home? If so, what and did it meet your needs?
None at all but we know our 2 social workers are at the end of the phone. We genuinely had awesome social workers.
What has been your best memory since your child(ren) came home?
Not 1 moment stands out but Sunday is family day. We are both off work and have breakfast together and no time limits. We have the day just the 3 of us. For now….
Then Olly goes down for a nap. we then finish the day off with a Sunday roast and quality family time.
No matter what jobs need doing, not on a Sunday. It’s family day.
If you could go back and have a conversation with yourself about the process before you started, what would you tell yourself?
You did right getting Ross to fill in all the paperwork.. Joking.
Just be yourselves and stop worrying you’ll kill the baby.
If I could give a few points of advice for new families
- use and talk to your families and friends they are key
- when the child moves in lock your house down for 2 weeks, don’t let anybody in till you have connected. We did it and it totally works,
- use things like insta and face to find your social media family. I know we have.
- keep in touch with your Foster family
- use and go to your local authority events. We have a Xmas party every year run by the council. It’s brill.
- enjoy every minuet and congratulations you gonna rock it.
To keep up-to-date with this gorgeous little family follow them on Instagram – @2bearsandacub
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